The First Time - Suiting Up, and New Motivation for Fighting

 I will never forget the first time I put on armor.

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I don't know who owned the kit originally - a friend of mine received it from a fighter in a neighboring Kingdom. I assume they were retiring, or may have outgrown the gear. In any case, my friend received this kit, along with a few other pieces of gear to give other women the opportunity to fight Heavy Armored combat in the SCA. This friend arranged to give the kits to my best friend to find a use for them.

My husband, his Squire brother, and myself, all looked at the kits last Friday. There was one kit mostly assembled in one bag and it looked fairly impressive.

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Assembling my armor was going slowly: We started in January, and then life got in the way - for me, and for my best friend, who was helping me. I was willing to allow myself to look janky as I tried a new sport. I figured if I didn't enjoy fighting, then I would not have spent too much money or effort to try it. And anyways, if I didn't like it, I could then donate my kit to my local Shire as beginner fighting gear.

I should also mention that I had a lot of friends and acquaintances who offered to give me gear for fighting  - I was very touched by other people's support, even if I didn't know them at all.

I had the opportunity to try a chainmail shirt made for my husband's Squire sister when I went to Gulf Wars this year: It was too small for her, so she thoughtfully brought it to see if it would fit me. I put it on, without a gambeson, or other protective gear. The shirt was a tailored fit to my body - it would not fit a gambeson, or other protective gear.

This helped me recognize that armor is not always adjustable. As generous as my SCAdian community is, I wanted to be comfortable in gear that was tailored to me, even if it was jerry-rigged.

Still, no further progress was being made, as life got in the way.

And then last Friday happened.

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We opened the stand-alone bag, and found some very impressive pieces. Obviously, the hubby and the Squire brother wanted me to try that stuff first. So they helped me into the armor.

I felt like a King.

Here at my sides were two men strapping me into armor with excitement and urgency to see if it all fit. I've been fussed over by women before, to look stylish and beautiful: hair, makeup, dress. And in those moments, I felt regal.

But being strapped into armor was different. I felt powerful. I felt emboldened. It was incredible - and wouldn't you know it, it all fit.

Somehow, an armorer somewhere made custom pieces for a female fighter, who then gave it up, just so it all made its way to me.

After strapping me in, the husband and the Squire brother stepped back and smiled. They were proud of assisting me into the armor, and told me they were excited for me.

And amazingly enough, I was smiling just as big as they were - I even had a chance to evil laugh in excitement. Truly, I felt amazing.

We took a picture of me, and sent it to their Knight - he was just as excited to see me this way as we were. 😊

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The armor was not perfect:

I realized I needed more padding under the metal breastplate and legs -  a couple straps need to be replaced, some straps extended, and some new holes drilled in the elbows to ensure I can tie them to my pauldrons. And there's no back protection. That's kind of important if I go up against someone who favors wrap shots.

Still, it's propelled me further along my Heavy fighting journey than I had thought possible. As my best friend and I continue to work on upgrading, I can't help but get more excited. I'm nowhere near being done and ready to fight, but I put the suit on yesterday evening after acquiring some under-padding, just to see where to go from there.

This was my best friend's first time seeing me suit up, and he got giddy. My husband and the Squire brother helped me again, and I realized to fully suit up, I won't ever be able to suit myself entirely on my own. But that's fine with me - I still feel like a King when they help me.

Once I was armored up, I stayed in it for a while, to feel the full measure of what I was getting into; It was late afternoon, and still hot. I felt warm, but the under layers I had on were wicking away sweat - it was good to know that I chose good layers to feel comfortable in. I bent over, knelt on the ground and got back up. No strain. I even ran around the lawn a little bit to feel the weight and see how strenuous it would be for me. I felt good - no resists, no real strain, just maybe some extra weight all around.

Then I picked up a shield in my left hand and realized my real problem is going to be arm endurance.

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I've never had much upper body strength, but I am determined to improve this for myself. I was talking with a friend at an event a couple weeks ago, about how I enjoy pushing myself mentally, but not physically.

And a couple days after saying that out loud, I realized something important: I could enjoy exercise if I focused on the mental aspect of it, not the physical aspect. The mental questions of "Can I do the thing?", "Can I keep going even if it's hard?" and especially "Can you prove (others or your own) expectations wrong?"are so motivating for me. And I think I understand why now:

I used to think that proving someone wrong was using spiteful energy. And I think, in a lot of cases, it is. If it's some other person you are proving wrong, and you are angry about their expectations for you, then yes - spiteful energy to do the thing is born. However, if you are proving your own expectations wrong, and you are encouraging yourself through it, then it's not spiteful energy.

I'm not entirely sure what it IS at this point - maybe I can explain my findings in a future blog post. For now, I am happy to know that I can encourage myself without using spiteful energy. Truly choosing to do an activity because I want to, is bringing me such freedom and joy that I didn't think possible once upon a time. Doing something physically demanding because it supports my desire to fight, is truly fairytales come to life. 🩷

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Thank you so much for reading my blog - I hope my journey is helping you to find direction and peace for your own life journey. Stay tuned for the next post!

XOXOX