The Most Valuable Lesson I am Learning RIGHT Now:

 I found a Pokémon card yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a HUGE Pokémon fan. I have ALL the third generation Pokémon games available on the GameBoy Advance, and I also have 3 Pokémon GameCube games.

I also collect Pokémon cards: my primary collection consists of Pokémon cards featuring rainbows in the scenery, and a select few cards printed in a rainbow foil. I feel that rainbows are a symbol of hope, and Pokémon depicted with a rainbow in the scenery look so happy and joyful with the presence of a rainbow. It truly makes me happy to see these cards - more so than any of my other Pokémon card collections (and I do have a few: cards featuring specific artists, sleeping Pokémon, etc.)

Usually when I obtain Pokémon cards, I will buy packs to open, or go to store to pick up single cards. Sometimes I am lucky enough to find someone willing to trade me one of my cards, for one of their cards.

The card I found yesterday was not found in any of these ways.

~~~~~

I was going to a friend's house for an "end of winter, start of summer" party - I parked my car a little down the street from his house, because I was late, and other people had parked closer to his home. I got out of my car from the driver's side, and kept walking on the street, because I had squeezed in front of a camper parked in street; it wasn't long until I found this card in the street:


Yes, this was taken immediately when I had found it. I posted this picture of it on Reddit, asking the Pokémon TCG Group if it was a candidate for a PSA 10 score. 😆


Then I put it into my pocket, and continued onto my friend's house for the party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things have not felt hopeful in this home in recent months.

I vented to my friends a little at that party, and I was able to receive some consolation and encouragement. I've received encouraging words and supportive hugs, etc. from friends and family.
I am EXTREMELY grateful for their attempts to comfort me.
Even so, things have continued to feel directionless, and as a result, hopeless.

Despite this, my Heavenly Father appears to be trying to tell me that things will be ok.

I feel like this Pokémon Trading card: Rejected by the person who pulled it - run over, and torn in places. But I was inspired by this thought:
Though this card's value is lost, mine isn't.

~~~

This card, today, in mint condition, is valued at $3.39. So, it's not an extremely valuable card - but it has enough value to separate it from penny cards. With this damage, it might as well be a penny card.

What I love about this card, is the person it portrays: Fantina is a Ghost-type Gym Leader, and a Pokémon Contest Star. Her appearance reflects that lifestyle of performing on a stage, and her confident smile is beautiful in this pose. And her card is labeled a "Supporter"card, which is a type of card you only play once during your turn.

It may seem silly, but I see a lot myself in this card - there have been a few times these last few years I felt I had overcome a lot of adversity to understand myself better. To love myself better.

And recent times feel to be trying to take what I've learned away from me.

Maybe that's the worst part about my situation right now: I worked so hard to love myself, to change my thought processes, to become someone healthier. Someone I can love without regret. And yet, things happen that make me feel like I am starting from square one again.

Yet I look at this card, and see the beauty of the figure isn't lost - the foil still shines brightly from this cardboard token. The texture and colors are still present and radiant. Her confidence and smile are not lost.

I can't help but feel this is what God wants me to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know how to smile genuinely through pain - I kind of resent people who fake their emotional state. Life isn't easy, or pretty sometimes, so why fake that you're ok? So I don't. I won't "Fake it 'til you make it" - that insensitive nonsense does more harm than good.

But what I am going to do moving forward is try to celebrate good things: finding this card was a blessing to me. Having time to put my physical home in order is a blessing. My husband and friends and chosen family are blessings in my life, with their own victories and happinesses. 

We have enough to get by - things won't be this way forever. And I can have faith and hope my experiences help other people who are suffering.

I can let go of the despair I have been feeling to give way to feelings of peace and joy.

I'm not perfect at this yet - perhaps this is a lesson I need to continue to learn over the course of my life.
Hopefully I will have more grace and patience moving forward.

Please let me know if my writings are helping you in some small way.

Until next time.


XOXOX
Location: 85CFM52R+GW

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