Isabel’s Journey - Because Life Ain’t Over Yet

The small step I described in my last blog post - the experience to take charge of my circumstances - helped me this past year. Ever since I began playing in the SCA, I have struggled to find my drive. I liked making things, but I don’t feel I have the passion that Apprentices and Laurels have in research and creation. I like to serve, but I don’t want to serve all the time. I wanted to perform, but for the longest time, I felt I didn’t understand the SCA audience - And once I did, I had the same issue as making stuff. I don’t feel my passion lies solely in being a Bard, as my passion does not match those of my fellow Bard friends. I love archery, but again, I feel my goals conflict with becoming a master archer: I shoot archery to practice being non-competitive, and for the sheer satisfaction of arrows hitting a target. And yet, I felt something at King’s Road this past summer when I was doing archery: it was the Kingdom Archery Champion’s tourney, and it was a grueling test of endura...

How in the world did I go from loathing physical violence to suddenly wanting to whack people myself? Well, first off, this isn't the only time in my life I've had to change my mindset. I have a few stories to share with you - my friends will know some of them, but there are a few I haven't shared yet. I think now is a good time to do so. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ First of all, I was a child who did not understand or like effort. I am naturally talented in a lot of ways - this is not a brag, but a personal observation. I have some athleticism (despite not being strong), I am artistically inclined, and I have a sound mind capable of intelligent work and conversation. People around me saw a child athletically gifted and artistic, and I was complimented on it. As a child, I had some intelligence, but I struggled to be understood and even though I knew a lot of facts, I struggled with math. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but when things required no effort ...

Yesterday, I was going to meet with a friend who had agreed to show me their armor and go over some basic movements in Rattan Stick Fighting in the SCA. This friend has the same body-type, is about the same age, and is roughly the same size as me, so it made sense for me to start there. We had set the date in mid December, and at the time, I was still unsure about how serious I was in strapping on armor and hitting people. I had started changing my mindset then, but was still kind of nervous in how things would go. Well, unfortunately, they were not able to make practice, as they were sick. :( They were heartbroken about it - and surprisingly, I was too. Even though I am still uncertain about how this experience will go, I was excited to meet with this person to see what they do, see what their kit is like, and get a first taste in what I was in for. And it didn't end up happening. And I was actually sad about it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I ended up taking a project with me to Fighter...

Where to start...? Well, l'm a girl of slight build weighing no more than 125 lbs. I've been a physically weak person most of my life, and a large part of the reason why boils down to two parts: 1) I'm sensitive. 2) My family taught me not to fight back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have not, as yet, been diagnosed with any personality disorders, but from doing my own research and taking the “Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?” test by Dr. Elaine Aron, it is possible that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). In the test provided by Dr. Elaine Aron (found at https://hsperson.com/are-you-highly-sensitive/ ), it is generally agreed that if you answer the yes or no questions as specified, and have a total score above 14, you are regarded as a HSP . There is a caveat, that even if you score under 14, you can still be defined as a HSP, according to how intense your experiences are in the questions you responded to. After taking this test, I discovered how sensitive I was: My score ...

 Hello there - My name is Isabel. A little about myself: I am a middle-aged woman. Isabel is not my given name - it is a pseudo name I chose for a hobby I participate in. I chose this name to remember my Great Grandmother Isabel, who lived with my family for a short time. She was a beacon of kindness and love in a rough upbringing, and I hope to one day be as good and kind as she was. I have a lot of interests: Pokémon, Art, Theatre, Archery, Crafting, Fashion, Biology (the FUN kind ;) ), Animals, History, Mixology, and Dress-up to name a few. The hobby I have a pseudo name for, is the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). The SCA is the hobby of all hobbies - look it up if you like historical recreation! Like I said earlier, I had a rough upbringing. But I am working to overcome the issues I developed under that upbringing. So why a Blog? Short answer: I wanted to share my life’s journey with more people than just my Facebook Friends. And I am starting that, by broadcasting my j...